Change?

Never have I been asked to make new friends within 2 months only to watch them go their separate ways again and having to begin the process again. As someone who has always been surrounded by friends and yet is slow to make friends, this constant change is wearing me down, leaving me sad and lonely. These weekends without going out with my friends are some of the loneliest days of my life.

Watching others move on with their lives makes me wonder where I am going with mine. Stuck in NS for the next 1 year and 8 months should give me plenty of time to think about the next step of my life but no matter where I turn, we all seem destined to be stuck in a world where we are helpless to change things.

The last vestiges of childhood seem to be rapidly fading away, the pressures of having to fend for ourselves are mounting and in the face of these attacks, I am slowly losing myself. Never had I felt so down before, never have I wanted someone to be by my side so badly...

PS: what has happened to the little kid who could smile all day? The one who is never down? The one who looked forward to each day. Who took him away and left this person who dreads the next day, this person who can't summon the motivation to do anything?